Sure, there's some variation across brands, but many of them use very similar shapes, which I can only assume is to let kids know that they are safe and familiar to eat. We don't want to startle a kindergartener by dropping an Ankylosaurus into the mix!

(I myself like a hadrosaurid, because I like a duck-billed dinosaur with a weird-looking head, but that is just for my favorite actual dinosaur - I’ve got a different pick for the nuggets)

(plus they don’t seem to use hadrosaurs in the nugget shapes, which is a bad call, but no one asks me, and that’s on them, okay, I am done I swear)

Additionally, these qualifications are within the actual 15 out of 10 that is dino chicken nuggets in general. Dino nuggets rule. They’re fun and they’re chicken nuggets, you cannot lose. The worst dino nugget shape is better than most foods.

T. Rex starts us off, and it’s a reasonable first entry. It’s important to have a nugget that can be bit into two pieces easily, and you’ve got that here. The bite will include the head and the little arm, and the second bite includes the body and the tail. This is true only if you have a manufacturer who knows what they’re about, and makes these two pieces equal. There’s the risk that the little arms are in fact too little, and end up a bit burned, but it’s a minor concern. Gotta give Rexy here a good 7 out of 10.

Sauropods are second up, and this might be controversial, but these are a weak nugget shape in my book. They usually require three bites to eat, because the neck and the tail are too far away from each other. Same risk as Rexy with the head being too small/skinny and getting burned, but the biggest issue I find with them is that they take up too much room on the baking sheet. I want as many nuggets as possible to fit on there, and Apatosaurus over here is taking up more than his fair share of space. “But the actual dinosaurs were huge!” I hear you, but these are nuggets. Remember which game you’re playing. 5 out of 10.

Stegosaurus is another popular one, and this is a quality pick. There’s not a ton of risk of burning - sometimes the head can get a bit touchy, but rarely. They’ve got a solid two bites on them, and the bites are the same size. You’re going to laugh, but the only issue I really have with them is not knowing which end is supposed to be the head and which is the tail. The dino nugget people do not always make it clear with their little cutouts, and I don’t appreciate that. I want to visualize the stegosaurus before I eat it, and I don’t think I’m asking for too much. 8 out of 10.

Pterosaurs (pterodactyls) might be able to fly in their actual dinosaur lives, but they are a chump nugget shape and I stand by that. There’s too many little bits to burn! Sometimes the little head is there, or sometimes they have the feet, and they can end up so crispy that they’re gross. Sometimes they don’t even have any nugget to them, they’re just breading, and I don’t want to talk trash about breading, but I want every part of the nugget to be nugget. Or, worst, they are so weak that they just fall off when transferring them to the plate, or when picking them up to eat. They have the same issue as sauropods, but there’s even less nugget there - they don’t have the substantial body that neck homies have. All wings, no weight. Great for flight, less great for nuggets. 3 out of 10.

Triceratops are my personal favorite, which of course means they are the best. These bad boys aren’t showy, and aren’t usually even that defined, but they are kings among nuggets. These guys are two solid bites, no messing around. No little spots of weakness or burning, they are sturdy and substantial and they cook equally around the edges. They take up their allotted space on the sheet, and they keep their heat, too - they’re waiting there for you, patiently, while your others cool off faster. And these guys? The head and the tail look different. I know what’s happening. The tris are my guys. Heck yeah, 10 out of 10.

Go dinos, go nuggets. Now I need some.

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